OH. MY. GOD. The internet. It WORKS! Like, REALLY WORKS! Ladies and gentlemen, we have achieved BROADBAND!

Guinea FINALLY got hooked up to the Great Big Offshore International Broadband Fiberoptic Cable Thingie (it’s a technical term) and the government and private sector telecoms FINALLY agreed on how to manage and monetize this sucker, and this week someone turned on the tap and the megabytes are FLOWING!

Video! STREAMING video! I can click on a YouTube link and it just STARTS. And it KEEPS GOING! No buffering required! I can watch Netflix! And Hulu! I can watch my TV shows when I want to instead of when they happen to be on AFN, if they happen to be on AFN. I can download music! I can actually load the App Store and buy some goodies for my fancy new iPad! I can update my software! Did I mention the STREAMING VIDEO!?

Words simply cannot adequately express how THRILLED I am about this! Neither, apparently, can egregious overuse of caps lock and exclamation points. I could steal a page out of Kolbie’s playbook and say it with an animated GIF, but by God, I’ve got BROADBAND! BRING OUT THE VIDEO!